Section 2 - Foundation Principles

Activity - Serving Others

I do try to serve others on a regular basis, but I didn't know about this particular requirement until yesterday, so... - 5 :(

Things from Class

  1. Unhealthy Family Dynamics - Tammy talked about a few types of unhealthy family behaviors such as parentification - allowing or encouraging a child to enter the parents' ecosystem or play a parental role with siblings. It is really helpful to understand and be able to recognize these unhealthy behaviors so that I can help others who may be in these situations (and I want to avoid them in my own family, too).
  2. Responding Well to Sexual Exploration in Children - I want to remember to practice responding to the following situations.
    1. Your 3 year old twins enjoy bathing with you. They ask questions about your body parts and how they work.
    2. You frequently see your 5 year old son with his hands down his pants.
    3. Your 7 year old daughter asks you what it means to be a virgin.
    4. You notice that your 10 year old son is growing pubic hair. How do you respond?
    5. Your 12 year old daughter is developing breasts very quickly. She could also start menstruating any time. What will you do?
    6. Your 14 year old son snap chatted pictures of his naked butt. How will you handle this situation?
    7. Your 16 year old daughter is going on her first date. How will you prepare her for this experience?
  3. Cocooning vs Pre-arming - I appreciated the way Tammy compared protecting children from sexual things, vs arming them with knowledge and understanding. Obviously, I want to do the latter.
  4. Chastity is a Spiritual Condition of the Heart - Not just abstinence. This was a revelation for me because I realized that I was keeping the law of Chastity with my fiancee a little grudgingly at times. It needs to come from the heart to be genuine.
  5. Healthy Responses to Erotic Energy - In the same vein, there are three responses to these feelings when we aren't married.
    1. Repression: the rejection from consciousness of feelings or impulses.
    2. Suppression: to stop or abolish a practice.
    3. Sublimation: the diversion of sexual energy or biological impulses from its immediate goal to one of a more acceptable social or moral nature.
  6. Attachment Styles - There are three and I want to help my children understand them as they go about dating. I'm definitely secure and I assume they will be also.
    1. Secure
    2. Avoidant
    3. Ambivalent/Resistant
  7. Triangulation - Rhymes with strangulation for a reason. I have found that manipulative techniques such as this one are card to recognize if we can't put a name to them. When we understand what is happening, we are back in power. That's why I'm so grateful that Tammy named this particular technique.
  8. Three Grand Purposes of Mortality - To become like our Heavenly Parents in three ways:
    1. In Body
    2. In Spirit
    3. In Family
  9. I'm Not Ready For Marriage - Then what is your plan to get there? That's what I am going to remember to say to my kids when they say that.
  10. Understanding Marriage as More Than a Couple Relationship - Tammy talked about how it alleviates fears. It's also a divine and social institution which gives it a lot of staying power.

What are you going to do?

     As Natalie and I begin to have children, we are going to practice and talk through how we would respond to the above situations with regards to sexual exploration. We may even role-play with each other. This is so important because we want our kids to grow up with healthy understandings and perspectives toward their natural sexuality. It is so much healthier to understand and be pre-armed. We also want our home to be a safe and open atmosphere for questions, so we will design age-appropriate lessons on sexuality for our kids. By doing this we will be intentional.

     I will be more genuine in my living of the law of chastity by remembering why I am living it, connecting my discipleship with my relationship, and making a conscious effort to feel joy in the relationship where it is at (which isn't actually that hard because it's awesome!). This is important, partly because we have some time before the wedding, but also because it is just a mark of true discipleship and I want to follow Jesus Christ.

Other Resources

Countering Tangents

I include this one because it is yet another example of how understanding a form of manipulation or misdirection is being used against or others, particularly in a family setting. That said, it is even more than that because it provides an introductory solution to tangents which reminded me of Tammy's suggestion to be like a broken record when conveying a message. The solution is to find some way to tie every divergent comment back to the topic. The author even suggests blaming our own confusion as a way to keep the other person from becoming defensive.


This is an article with three rules which resonated with me:
  1. Your loyalty is to your spouse
  2. Remind yourself why you are doing it
  3. Eliminate politics from the discussion
The first two rules bring to mind topics we've discussed in class - spousal preeminence, living one's why - and the third is another good one. I also include this source because it comes with some great real-life examples of each of these behaviors which I find helpful for application.























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