Section 1: Philosophy & Application

Activity - Personal Philosophy of Marriage

To me, marriage is first a committed personal attachment (or couple relationship). Marriage as an institution is also very important to me and certainly informed my choice of partner, but my conception of marriage is found first and foremost in the relationship itself. Marriage is very important to me because I believe it is the happiest path for me to take in life, I believe it is the way God would have me live, and I think I can be a good husband and father and the world certainly needs more of those. I absolutely foresee marriage in my future -- I'm marrying my fiancee in a few short months.

Things from Class

1. Live your why - it's important to keep in mind why we're doing the things we do! It feeds into living genuinely and being trustworthy when we allow our actions to flow from our innermost understanding of who we are and what we want.
2. Menstrual Cycle - I didn't know about the mucus that blocks the cervical opening. It is important for me to understand details such as this so that I can support my wife during her monthly cycle.
3. I resolved to stop and say "hi" to people who I know on campus instead of avoiding them. This comes from my "why." I realized that I want to be a good friend in my heart, but I needed my actions to match up with that.
4. Comments that scoff and say that we are too young to marry and that we have everything backwards when we insist on the institutionalization of marriage are from the Great and Spacious Building. I need to remember this as a parent.
5. ACT formula (how to flirt) - Animation + Closeness + Touch shows interest!!! Although I've already found someone, I think flirting is still important to keep the fun alive. I want to have a fun and exciting relationship with my spouse for the long years to come.
6. Marriages that include the following have a very low probability of divorce:
1. People who are not teenagers
2. Religion
3. Lack of divorce in immediate family
4. Education
7. The order of romance: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, Touch. My kids need to understand this!
8. Don’t allow your biology to overtake your theology!
9. You attract who you are. This is so important for those who are still looking for a partner, but also in the context of attracting friends and associates.
10. There are other stakeholders in our marriages besides the two partners!

What are you going to do?

The first thing I have decided to do because of what we've learned in class is to create a mobile app to help men support their romantic partners during the moodier parts of their menstrual cycles. Men are often unaware when their partner is PMS-ing and don't know to be (or even how to be) extra sensitive and sympathetic with what they say and how their partners are feeling. They sometimes get punished with their partner's strange behavior and moodiness without really knowing why she is acting so strangely. The app will help men keep in sync with their partner's menstrual cycle and give them the tools to act in a supportive way during PMS.

The other thing I plan to do is to continue to flirt with Natalie, my fiancee, even as our relationship becomes solidified in marriage. It's true that love and relationships change and deepen over time, but I would definitely love to keep the spark alive. It's so fun and exciting, and it's an aspect of our relationship I think is worth keeping around. In other words, elbow touch for the win! :)

Other Resources

9 Signs Your Period is Coming

The above article includes some signs I didn't know that a woman's period is about to begin. One is that her breasts may grow larger and get more tender. Another is that she may experience headaches because of changing estrogen levels. Finally, she may feel bloated and gassy. While some of these things aren't particularly nice to think about, they are real parts of the female experience for a lot of women, and in order to sympathize and help I must understand what they go through.

Why Marriage, Why Family

Elder Christofferson speaks about similar themes to those we read about in Marriage Compass. For example, he quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer as saying,

"Marriage is more than your love for each other. … In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom. In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind."

This echoes what we have learned about marriage as an institution, not simply a couple relationship. Our marriage forms a link in the chain of generations, a truth that is more profound and potent given the restoration of the sealing power to the prophet Joseph Smith. The restoration breaths doctrinal, authoritative life into the already potent words of Bonhoeffer. What an honor it will be to marry my love, and become the next link in the chain of our family's generations.